About time I got around to dropping another Adventure Log. This one isn’t really in the same style as the previous, and may not be funny per se, which is fine, I suppose. It is, however, a log of the adventure.
Session started where the last one left off. Your typical screwed
diplomat diplomatic endeavour, with an elven woman getting out of a minotaur’s bed and running off, and a castle steward running off as well, with the intent of rousing the castle guard.
Kemil got dressed, ran down the hall, and awakened Ovias. Ovias, plainly no alcoholic, downed a container of booze before even bothering to open the door. At this point, the half-vampire dwarf’s suspiciously good sensory perception detected guards arming themselves in the lower levels.
A few moments later, the party was back on their feet and ready to face the music by running the heck away. We burn rubber, as it were, booking it through the castle. Despite a spirited attempt and bowling over a number of guards, we took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up exiting the castle proper by walking into an open training ground full of guards.
Amusingly, this little incident actually elicited an actual hint of emotion from the extremely disinterested jerk of a ruler. Despite the protests from our horny friend (pun of course intended), the king took our residium back, possibly without refunding us our purchase price, and then banished us from Elfland, giving us two hours to get out.
Standing around in front of the palace, the party discussed breaking into the palace for a while, as well as just cutting losses and leaving. After noticing where we were standing, we decided to move to a nearby alleyway and discuss treason. At some point, heading back to Arrannis’ friend Mai Tai, or whoever, was suggested, but instead we stood around talking until the woman who had caused all this crap showed up.
Interrupting our seditious talk to try and hire us for a dungeon raid is nearly suicidal in most cases, but since she was pretty plainly a dancing plot hook, we all shut up and agreed after a token defense. She explained that she was in a politically arranged marriage or something with the king, which I suppose was intended to put us at a moral advantage for stealing the guy’s stuff. Of course, political marriages were extremely common at the time, and in fact would have helped to solidify the rapidly splitting Elven and Eladrin races, but meh.
Ok, so next, we went and sat around in the woods all day like a bunch of arborphiliac elves. Disguised as elves by the foul magics of that race, we then headed into the ‘estate’ that was guarding the treasure. Passing the guards fairly easily, the woman led us to a door, which she opened via combination or somesuch. At this point, she revealed that she needed our help to get past the myriad traps ahead.
The first trap was a huge statue of a dragon, made of apparently no valuable material whatsoever, that magically bent down to ask us to speak the “Words of Power”. Apparently “By the Forge of Moradin” was a bad idea, so Baern kept his fool mouth shut for a bit. We discussed the matter for a moment or two, until a rather pointed hint about the egocentrism of the ruler was made. Baern took a shot and said the King’s name, which satisfied the Huge Worthless Dragon Golem and it allowed us to pass. At this point, the woman came in and said we’d done the hard part, and went off to get her suit of armor.
A few jumps over spike traps,
Baern bear traps, and other assorted trivialities later, we were overladen with level-appropriate loot that was for some reason apparently ‘precious’ to this king, and we opened what amounted to the last door.
Inside this small library were a couple of constructs to combat! Baern took the cleric’s way out, hiding behind a wall until the combat was mostly resolved. A fairly easy fight against these three monsters.
The books in the room were basically worthless, if we even checked, and the dragon head on the wall was of much more interest. We answered its blatantly plagiarized riddle and thus disabled the trap, but the party was either too dumb or too impatient to try to figure out the correct way to open it. Theris managed to pull it open, but then Ovias stepped in and tore off the jaw of the skull completely, in a fit of high rolling.
Impatience abounds, and Baern went to open the door that had been concealed behind the dragon head. Inside were more constructs. Despite the spirited defense of a Bronze Warden that seemed intent on running over the kindhearted thieves of our party, all metal eventually succumbs to Moradin’s hammer. Speaking of hammers, this was Baern’s first successful melee strike this campaign.
Winning the combat meant we could now loot the innermost room of this secret treasury, finding our residium as well as some other random bits.
Outside we found our Elven allies, and they escorted us to and through the gate, dropping us presumably back in The Hub. A young man met us there, calling Tempest by some other name that I didn’t catch, and drawing comment from the stoic fellow.
Join us next time for “I have no idea what next session is about”, or possibly “The One in Which We All Kill Tempest”.