The Legacy

Kobolds in the Night, Exchanging Manses
or "Was this the last fight? What are the chances? "

Wow, been a while since I logged some adventures. One day short of a month, in fact.

Well, session started with some overland travel, dragging the dwarf ‘camp’ of thousands of the stubby things. Deciding to make the best of not having to roll skill checks, we started off skirting a lake and heading southwest. Along the way, we passed some fishing village, but no one wanted to bother with it. Eventually, we came across a sign hung from a tree, with an odd symbol on it.

Ovias recognized this symbol as a request for help from any passing Wardens. After some token discussion, we decided what the hell, we might as well check it out. No problem dragging thousands of people along because some guy happened to know a symbol for Wardens, right? Along the way, we meet what we figured to be part of a kobold ambush, and killed it.

Anyway, we eventually found our way to a human settlement full of peaceful humans. Actually no, it was full of peaceful kobolds. You heard me. Anyway, some brief discussion with them, we found that they were being raided by nearby humans, and that they wanted a warden to help. Many of us just didn’t care, but we went along with it anyway.

We dragged our huge entourage along to the nearby human settlement, meeting a couple of half-retarded morons out in the fields. After listening to their yammering for a short time, we informed them that we were going to speak to the entire village. After hearing their complaints, we told them that a big scary dragon was going to eat their town, and that they had to run.

For whatever reason, they seemed to believe us. Baern contributed 1000 gold to their relocation. After that we basically just skipped town. Headed back to kobold town, got… some fruit or vegetables or something. Huge quest reward sir.

After this, we found a note or something from the druid’s mentor, and he immediately skips off into the wilds. Ok.

Later that night, a massive explosion! No one knows what it could be, so we take the logical course of action and ride towards it.

Viewpoint switches here to Alyrian, some deva guy. He’s recently recorporeated and was getting hassled by his new boss to do something sketchy. The fact that his boss was hanging out with angels, devils, and demons at once didn’t make it less sketchy.

Alyrian tells them to shove it, and bam combat. Good thing the rest of the party showed up here or something. Anyway, we apparently were in some mystical long-lost city called… Scintille or something. We fought the angels and won in fairly short order, no real problems.

Alyrian has joined the party!

Session over.

Underdark After Dark
or "Uh, anyone need healing? OK, turn's over."

Adventure logs are becoming more rare.

Session picked up where the last, unlogged one did. Still in the underdark, the party bumbled around a while under the nice, free lighting from our wizard. Some time later, we walked into a special portion of cave.

Of course, any time there is a special area of anything, there is combat. BOOM undead all over the place. Some huge abyssal monster undead too, not just your average zombies.

This combat started a bit on the weird side. The party apparently had been squeezing its way through a very thin passage, and we were completely bottlenecked while Ovias stood there and got hit a lot. Each hit both immobilized him and drained healing surges, so it was becoming a problem rather fast. Still, eventually the wight that was causing problems dropped, and people spread out a bit.

Mostly this combat was designed, so far as this humble logger can tell, to drain the party of useful powers and also of healing surges. Things went rather smoothly, every monster was killed, though the large ones had some silly thing where they could attack Ovias a half dozen times at once or something. After the combat was over, the party took a short rest and then started poking around, as we are often wont to do. About ten seconds into poking around, BAM VAMPIRES. DOZENS OF THEM.

Well, a couple of vampires, a couple more wights, and a number of spawn that die instantly. An AoE here, a Flame Strike there, and the number was down to four. Still, combat was a bit dangerous and here and there people had few to no surges left, and KEMIL WAS DOMINATED FOR BASICALLY THE ENTIRE COMBAT. So our psychotic bullmonster stood there wailing on Ovias until Baern Turned Undead and pissed off the vamps enough for them to sic Kemil on Baern. Amusingly, however, the was knocked unconscious on the way by Ovias, and only got a single hit on the all-important cleric.

Still, combat continued. Ended before long however. A little looting later, and we found a secret passage. Just as we began pressing into it,

Session over.

Tune in next time for Ovias Does the Underdark, or maybe “You know what? Screw Ovias, let’s get the hell out of here.”

Interview with a Dhampir
"Don't make me zombie... you wouldn't like me when I'm zombied."

Man, nearly a month since the last Adventure Log.

So, reappearing in some melting underground temple, Bearn and his party quickly beat feet and got the hell out. Bearn had no idea what was going on, but that’s normal enough. After getting back outside, some conversation went on regarding what to do now that we’d apparently been working for the bad guy. Eventually it was settled that we’d head back to Tharduul, to turn in the quest we’d finished, get paid, and work out our next course of action.

So, traveling. No problems until a few days in, but then we saw fires on the horizon. Given that we were days outside of any civilized area, it wasn’t a city. Advancing, we came across a nighttime scene of carnage; a vampire lord and his cadre of undead had apparently attacked a caravan. Two clones of The Hulk were also zombied nearby. Initiative post haste, good sirs!

Kemil tanked like a pro, marching right in with a sunrod lit, being a shining beacon of COME HIT ME. Theris also ran in and got himself mired in melee with The Hulk, getting smashed hard in the face. Baern stayed the hell away from combat, healing from afar and ineffectually trying to ranged attack. Ovias worked as a dwarven diplomat should, hackin’ and whackin’ and smackin’. Tempest, true to his class, mostly stayed back as well.

Things went smoothly enough to start. A few nicks and cuts from the hulks, and petty annoyance from the gravehounds, but nothing major. The vampire spawn bit it almost immediately, no pun intended. The primary concern quickly became the Vampire Lord, who flitted around the field with impressive mobility and also displayed an ability to dominate people, which is bad in a party with someone who can hit like Kemil. Thankfully the Symbol of Hope from Moradin nipped his domination in the bud.

The Hulks came back once each, taking a tremendous amount of damage to down, and everyone was down to at-wills by the end of the battle. Still, the group ultimately prevailed, without too many problems. After the battle, Bearn searched the rubble of the caravan for any survivors. Finding no bodies was worrying enough, but there was a dwarven woman there as well. Upon seeing Ovias, she screamed about ‘finishing the job’ and tried to run off. Good luck, woman.

After being figuratively bullrushed and lifted bodily from the ground by our minotaur, she became very passive and didn’t speak or try to break away. I guess she just figured that she was just a meal on the hoof. If Ovias was a different sort, she might have been right. In any case, she refused to answer questions. We still treated her well, and didn’t even bind her for the evening.

The next day, we continued on towards Tharduul. However, we quite shortly came across another batch of fires, though these were campfires for the hill dwarves. Camp. Fires. Not forging fires, because they suck and don’t settle long enough to build proper forges. What kind of shallow-dwelling skygazer lives outside anyway?

Sentries saw us coming from a distance away, and we released the useless peasant girl to run back to her brethren. She proceeded to do so, while our party quickly became surrounded by angry hill dwarves. In the distance, dueling banjos taunted us. The leader dwarf, whose name is not memorable, came forth and accused Ovias of leading attacks against the dwarven peoples, as his obvious vampiric ancestry matched the descriptions given by some witnesses. Ovias, having been gone for several months, didn’t really have any way to prove his innocence outright.

Thus began the skill challenge, trying to convince the dwarf to let Ovias go, giving us time to prove his innocence, or possibly just time to run off and not come back. The challenge went rather smoothly, despite a few bumbling attempts at diplomatic wording from a couple of party members. Finally, the dwarf sighed, and dismissed his sizable escort. He resignedly told Ovias that he valued him as a friend, and that it was sadly out of his hands, unless Ovias could cure himself of his horrible cross-breeding issues before the next moot.

He left a friendly note to the same effect also, unsigned.

Well, despite Ovias being in a poor mood, Baern suggested starting the search for a cure in Darsil. The travel there went smoothly enough, and boom, we were in a metropolitan city with time to shop. So shopping occurred, and lasted long enough to make further play impossible.

Session over.

Tune in next time for Exorcising The Better Half of You, or “The one in which Baern finds out that his parents were brother and sister and also demons and also the clergy hates him and he’s been secretly worshipping Gruumsh or something.”

Ozymandias, Queen of Queens
or "Look upon my Skulls, ye dwarven, and despair"

Adventure logging camps are less depressing than normal logging camps.

Well, the adventure started by falling asleep to continue our extended rest. After this thrilling start, we headed back downstairs and Arannis immediately figured out the correct spell to open up the passage down into the mines.

Proceeding downwards, we found ourselves in a mining area covered in slightly glowing but apparently normal iron ore. This sounds contradictory but hey. It was all chaos-magic-infused, says the wizard. However, there was no time for forging new weapons out of it, as monsters existed down the hallway! Past an iron portcullis, a number of troglodytes were stinking up the mines.

The portcullis was the obvious choice of items to destroy first, and Kemil obliged, after only a few missiles were tossed through by the trogs. This left one poor bugger trapped under the portcullis while half the party thundered over him and into the fray. The combat passed fairly simply. The troglodyte under the portcullis was electrocuted by Baern, and no one was seriously injured.

A few moments’ exploration dropped us in front of a number of carrion crawlers, as well as hundreds of spiders and a zombie or two. The air was thick with chaos, which weakened those who passed through it. Theris stupidly bravely charged the carrion crawlers while the rest of us hung back to deal with a suddenly charging, terrifying demon that came barreling down the corridor. The fight went smoothly enough despite a few tense moments for Theris and Tempest, with the carion crawlers posing more problems than were expected. Still, the party came out on top with few major problems.

The final fight of the evening was over a chasm of chaos death energy, with a number of monstrous demons that had spawned in that hell, along with a massive naga resting upon a mountain of dwarven skulls. Thus began a dangerous fight over a pit of fire against monsters that none of us knew much about. The naga and Menzoberranzans kept flinging deleterious effects at the party, making it difficult to move around, let alone perform effective tactics. Before long, the party was split across the gap, and a fire monsters spawned from the pit was occupying the casters while the tanks and unfortunate cleric stayed on the far side fighting the demons.

Still, despite a few problems, the monsters fell and everyone survived.

Session over.

Tune in next time for Going Home Again, or “Wait, there’s really no ancient, lost dwarven treasure in here?”

Lookin' for Mines in All the Wrong Places
or "He just smiles and nods."

Sometimes people forget about adventure logs.

OK, this session kicked off where the other session left off. Ears still ringing from the screeching harpies, we quickly looted the corpses and decided to explore the joint. We took off through the hallways, looking to at least be able to call the place clear.

A bit of exploring and we settled on resting for the night. Room 25 was a comfy spot, so we headed there and took a snooze, all boarded up. No problems occurred. All rested and full of power(s), we continued exploring the building, eventually coming to a chamber full of monsters.

This chamber was the queen’s chamber, where the queen was a dryad, followed and escorted by a half dozen enslaved humans and a shifter over to the side. Looked easy! Initiative was rolled and we all fell in. The fight went smoothly enough, everyone did their job and things were going OH GOD THERE ARE HUGE HYENA DOGS. The large hyenas disrupted combat and bled acid all over us, which isn’t terribly pleasant. Thankfully, Baern was more than capable of healing, particularly since half the party has Healing Word anyway.

After the fight, we discussed our mission here. Since it was effectively to ‘find the Karak Load’, we assumed this meant that we had to find the mines themselves. Thus the search started. We poked around a while with no real success, and then looked at that suspicious “S” on our map of the jailhouse. Couldn’t find anything there. We even let the daft old man with the canaries out, and he just wandered around stupid and oblivious. The sandstorm raging outside kept us in the fortress anyway.

Kemil went around knocking walls, while the dwarves followed the addled human around for a few hours. Nothing came of any of this. The gods above refused to answer any requests for hints or help.

After a while, it was late, so we fed the idiot and went back to room 25 to sleep. Unfortunately, attacks! A troglodyte chanter and a couple of his henchmen assaulted us! Plainly the party trashed the idiots and everything was fine and dandy, but just as plainly, there are still problems in the Karak Mines.

Tune in next time for This is Such a Karak Load, or “Damnit we’ve been searching for six hours, just tell us where the next area is”

Dungeon Crawl
or "Ok, rolling to open the portcullis ... Damnit!"

If we had a wooden warforged, would he be an Adventuring Log?

Session started again, conveniently, where the last one ended. The party was hanging around after the general looting of troglodytes, and since it had been a while for the players, were a bit confused for a moment on where to go. Basically on a whim, we decided to explore the upper floors.

We found both entrances to the upper level proper had been blocked by portcullises. In the interest of remaining stealthy, Kemil set to work bashing a hole in one. Sadly, after a token exploration of the rooms beyond, we found basically nothing of any particular interest. With this in mind, we headed downstairs.

Downstairs, we quickly found a stairway farther down. Knowing dwarves, I figured this would be a reasonable place to look for loot and all the important rooms. What kind of poncy dwarf builds on the surface anyway? Of course, the way to the underground was blocked by a couple of human folks.

Humans! Fights are required! Amusingly, however, the humans were mostly minions and were quickly torn to pieces by our trained and useful party. The rooms had little in the way of loot or anything particularly interesting, however, so we just returned to trying to open the portcullis.

Kemil, assisted by four others, tried to lift the portcullis and failed. Then, he tried again, assisted again, and failed. Also he tried to lift the portcullis, but that failed. Also Ovias tried to lift it and failed.

Finally, Kemil managed to lift the portcullis. We suddenly realized that we had no way to keep it open. Ovias ran off to get an anvil from the forge we’d seen earlier. While he was gone, Kemil dropped the portcullis.

Kemil, assisted by four others, tried to lift the portcullis and failed. Then, he tried again, assisted again, and failed. Also he tried to lift the portcullis, but that failed. Also Ovias tried to lift it and somehow magically succeeded. We slammed the anvil under the thing and we were good. Finally.

We traveled down below, and found a small jail area. This was a bit of a surprise to be honest. Anyway, one cell was occupied by a daft old man with some birds. We tried talking to the fellow, but he just blithely smiled and nodded. Given that we didn’t really know what to do with a guy that keeps birds on his head and doesn’t talk, we just sort of left him there with the intent of getting him on the way out.

Traveling on, we found a few empty rooms with nothing interesting, la dee da. Eventually we came to a hallway with a bunch of doors lining it, which is never a good sign. Also there were glowing light spells engraved on the walls, which is actually pretty damn neat. Anyway, opening one of the chambers, we found a sarcophagus. We decided not to disturb the dead, but then BAM combat.

A winged demon thing that looked like a hideously mutated smurf popped out of one of the doors farther down the way. Someone or another recognized this as a Berbalang, which is possibly the worst monster name since that Aztec fish monster from the 3.0 Monster Manual 2. Anyway, it popped out a clone, so we did the sensible thing and fought them wildly and without any real attempt at focus firing. Baern mostly kept his distance like a good cleric. The fight was over pretty darn quick, however, due mostly to Arannis’ successful sleep spell letting Kemil do mid-sixties to mid-seventies damage two times a round. Nothing trivializes an encounter like disabling all the enemy combatants in the first round.

Given that this seemed to be the end of the underground hallways, we headed back topside again. This time, we headed to the big open area just north of the troglodyte fight. Plainly, a large open room in a dungeon couldn’t be infested with monsters that rely on mobility to be effective in combat. So of course as soon as we came in, LOL CARRION CRAWLER AND HARPIES.

So combat. Anyway, Ovias did the sensible dwarven thing and jumped on its back right away. This limited the carrion crawler’s options to exactly the options it already had, but that’s how these things go. The harpies distinguished themselves in this battle by constantly screeching at everyone, in some kind of weird way that made us all move around and also be immobile. Thankfully, however, we were all warmed up from stomping the previous combatants, and this combat was barely any different. Between knocking the harpies around and axing the carrion crawler in a round or two, the combat wasn’t exactly terribly difficult or long, just full of screeching harpies that made everyone want to kill them faster.

After the combat, it was like 11:30, so hey.

Session Over.

Tune in next time for “More Dungeon Crawling” or “Crap it’s the BBEG and we are out of Dailies”

Killer Queen
or "All I see is a loading screen and a few tokens"

Oh, crap. Never forget to write an adventure log for three days. I’m going to have to blunder through this one in a fog of lost detail and poor memory. Sorry about that.

So the session started off where the last one ended. We were standing around in this podunk little village of humans, out in the wastes. We spoke with the villagers about what had just happened, what with the huge snake monster and gnoll. We were politely informed that we’d doubtlessly just pissed of some queen whose name I can’t remember. She apparently controls a number of dangerous minions and harasses folks in the area.

Given that we were already on a mission, Baern was more interested in continuing that work than running off half-cocked after some two-bit bint with delusions of grandeur. However, the rest of the party sought more information and it turned out that the landmarks leading to the Queen’s lair matched the landmarks leading to the lost Karak Load, so it worked out (supiciously) well.

So off we traveled into the wastes. Didn’t take long before we wound up fighting some random thing out in the wilderness. I recall having fun with the fight but I have no idea who it was against. I believe we determined it had something to do with the queen but I dunno.

Anyway, we soon arrived at the gates of the Karak Load, a stone edifice rising from the blasted lands. I dunno. We trotted on in, growing ever more aware of the apparently quite horrid stink of troglodytes. Not far into the fort we found ourselves between two partially-held-open portcullis…es. Portculli? Patchouli.

Yes, so we had some patchouli-stinking troglodytes harassing us from above and to the sides, through murderholes and arrow slits. This is plainly a problem. Kemil did the sensible thing and bull-dozed (see what I did there?) his way through a wall, opening a hole for the more melee minded party members to go in and fight. I believe Ovias shocked the troggs by teleporting through the wall.

An interestingish fight ensued! People used the Kemil-hole to go to and from the trog space, and the trogs fought the ranged folks through the arrow slits. Things went fairly easily for our party, however, and in time we killed all of our opponents without much healing required really.

Session over.

Tune in next time for “Dwarven Archaeology”, or “Take everything that isn’t bolted down, then come back with a crowbar”

Papa's got a Brand New Mag
or "You Can't Stop the Bull Rush"

Hey look, some jerk is writing an Adventure Log.

Ok, so the session began with the general cleanup from the arena battle. Tempest met his parents and coldly ignored their attempts to hug and make up for years of slavery. The nation of Fedir hailed us as heroes, which is sort of a bad thing given their penchant for randomly killing anyone they see. We were quite quickly returned to the Hub.

Lazing around the Hub for two weeks proved fairly boring, but then Zane (the Master of Roads) contacted us. Apparently word of our great deeds of killing whoever we are told to had reached Tharduul, which is good I suppose. A dwarf whose name I can’t remember told us a tale of woe from the failed dwarven settlement of the Ironfell clan (I think) named the Karak Load or something similar. Promising each of us 1,000 gold to find this place, as well as apparently the rights of salvage for anything we find there, he gave us a loose map showing landmarks leading toward the ancient outpost.

So of course we head out, being ‘escorted’ through Tharduul and out into the wastes. “Iron-sharp” brambles and whatnot were all about, reinforcing the bleakness and uselessness of the area. Surviving in the desert is a challenge to anyone’s skills, so we started a skill challenge.

Our resident backwater hick dwarf has all the requisite skills, and basically can’t fail perception checks, so the mid-forties rolls kept us fine and dandy for a while. On perhaps the second or third day traveling, however, a black-cloaked man approached and demanded to know what were were doing, named Mag Something-or-Other. Black-cloaked men are rarely good signs for adventurers, so Baern expressed in the most diplomatic way possible that we were seeking a forgotten dwarven outpost, and that “his wastes” were not his at all, since the dwarven claim on the land plainly preceded any human claim by centuries. For all his polite diplomacy, Baern was challenged to single combat. There’s been a lot of that going around lately.

Finding the idea of fighting one-on-one a bit stupid, Baern mentioned that there were five of us and one of this other guy, meaning that we could easily just kill him outright. Still, after a bit of talking, Baern agreed to a non-lethal duel. The fight largely consisted of a Spiritual Weapon of Baern’s smacking Maglite the Ranger around, while Baern healed himself and shrugged off damage. Shortly enough, Mag was unconscious and bound.

Seeing his new situation, Mag became more helpful, and agreed to be a guide for the party if he was released. This added even more skill to our skill challenge taker, which made us immune to challenges. Mag decided to take us to Shady Sands Dunesend or something like that, a craphole human desert settlement.

Another day or two of travel saw us meeting up with some apparently crazed dwarves and their pet hellhound. Despite repeated attempts by Baern to get them to lay down their arms and join their kin, they kept fighting and were killed fairly quickly. There were some issues regarding a minotaur and a chasm, but thankfully no one in the party died, despite constant screams of “Medic!”. An inordinate number of natural fours were rolled, however. Kemil found some Boots of Tabby Cats or something, I don’t know. +Jumping, +Landing.

Ok, so after that, we traveled a bit longer and popped into Dunesend. Hearing a cry of pain, we headed into town and saw a bloody, armed gnoll standing over a dead human. Also there was a huge lightning-based lizard monster there, a Behir. Also satyrs, and they were frankly pretty damn far from the Grecian forests that they should be found in.

So we did the typical adventurer thing and killed the big monster. Uh, in two hits. Kemil did something like 47 damage, got devoured a moment, and then did another mid-forties hit to drop the sucker. GG, Behir. The gnoll warden and satyr rakes caused more problems, however. Ovias was promptly flanked and had something like half a dozen critical hits on him in about two rounds. The Ineffable Light of Moradin helped keep him alive, however. Kemil, having rushed in to fight the Behir, found himself similarly flanked, but with less critical damage. Still, he managed to keep alive long enough for the somewhat leadfooted cleric to get over there and heal a bit. An engaging combat all around in fact. The satyrs mostly fled, which is unfortunate. When dime-a-dozen monsters flee, it’s generally the DM’s way of explaining why an entire army starts breathing down our necks in a day or two.

At this point, session over.

Tune in next time for “The Intricacies of Dwarven Property Law”, or “How to Smash Face with a Hammer”

Ekemon, I choose you!
or "Stars fall, everyone dies"

Is this another Adventure Log? It is!

Session started off with Arannis and Irrinor immediately and wordlessly disappearing to go handle the black residium returns, while the good and decent people of the party hung around to watch Tempest talk write stuff to some guy.

Well, the guy that had met Tempest a moment ago now professed to be his long-lost brother, despite Tempest not knowing he had one of those. A few bits of exposition later, the party knew that a couple of ‘Houses’ in Fedir were feuding over control of the nation. The party was quickly dragged off to that blasted and useless land.

Apparently, the Infernal Pact House had recently wrestled power from the Star Pact folks. Given that I’ve never played a warlock, read up on their lore, or cared in the least about pacts, they all seem roughly the same to me. What we actually found in Fedir was a bunch of untrustworthy, thieving, and generally malicious Tieflings fully living up to their poor reputation.

Turns out Tempest, as far as I can tell, was left in slavery by his parents. His parents had a way out of their bonds, see, and took it. This was apparently justified by 1. Two parents, one kid, so the numbers work in their favor, and 2. She was pregnant, so they had a replacement Tempest. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that everyone in Fedir is a dick yet. Anyway, so Tempest was enslaved, and then cursed or something, so that’s why he can’t talk. I personally see this as an elaborate cover-story by his mom to hide her affairs with the bad-boy banshee down the road, the one that no woman could resist.

So his brother came to find him due to a prophesy that his family would kill the infernal pact folks. Apparently in Fedir there is a group of thirteen people whose job it is to spout prophesies all day long. Anyway, due to this prediction, the Tempest family was being hunted. Mom and “dad” had already been captured, and so Tempest was brought in to fulfill the prophesy. Some klingon-esque mess about honor duels named something like Terek Nor was spoken of, and so the plan was hatched to have Tempest, probably the squishiest of our remaining party members, challenge the head bad guy, Ek√©mon, to single combat in the longest run-on sentence you’ve likely seen this side of the Mississippi.

We got a chest full of items here, most of which didn’t really have much direct combat use, and frankly most of which Baern took just to take. We also divided the plunder gathered thus far in the campaign, netting everyone 374 gp. Presumably the amounts owed to Arannis and Irrinor are being set aside for them. There was some talk of shopping, and I think Tempest dropped every penny he’s made into one battle worth of healing potions, but meh. I don’t recall.

So we headed to the tavern, where all the best doomed adventurers meet. Walking in, we found Ekemon, some human chick, and dozens of mercs and guards. The reasonable thing to do here would be to politely and formally offer a Zul’Farrak challenge to the guy, but apparently Kemil knew the human chick in question. Kemil has some bad luck with women. Anyway, Bull-man takes the diplomatic approach and draws down. Suddenly, everyone in the place has crossbows and blades at the ready. Someone talks the minotaur down from a TPK, and then the challenge was issued properly, laughed at, and accepted.

A night passed with the four party members sleeping in four different locations, so far as I can tell. Woo party cohesion.

Next morning we all headed over to watch Tempest get his ass kicked in the arena. Apparently it’s a bad idea to interrupt this duel in progress, so the rest of the party was to sit and watch. I was trying to figure a way to remotely and covertly heal Tempest when Ovias’ suspiciously good vision spotted a guy loading a crossbow on the other side of the arena. Ovias pointed out this possible interruption, and so we started forcing our way through the crowed.

Baern helped a bit here by first diplomatically talking his way past some folks, then getting annoyed and drawing the Lightning Warhammer of Moradin and lighting it up, scattering stupid peasants and Tiefling heretics out of the way. Shortly enough, the party had shoved their way to the general area of the possible interlopers. Tempest was fighting well enough down in the arena, I suppose.

Anyway, a few turns were spent fighting an Angry Mob that looked like a sullen blond guy that wasn’t invited to his friend’s party, and a few more were spent cleaning up the couple of actual direct interlopers, while the crowd as a whole degenerated into anarchy. Suddenly, we saw Creed hidden somewhere nearby, with arms wide open casting some ritual. Shortly thereafter, all the stars in the sky fell burning and exploding to the ground, decimating the cheery arena and most of its inhabitants. The fighting in general continued unabated, with the extra benefit of a number of “Bottomless” chasms spread about. Tieflings have been thus proven to be honorable and decent folks, not psychotics and murderers at all.

Tempest fell into a chasm pretty quickly and then repeatedly failed attempts to climb out, falling deeper each time. At this point, noninterference was pretty much out the window, and the party rushed the field, along with several random people no one knew or cared about. Ovias made the sensible decision of jumping as far as he could into the arena and landing safely on his face, if I recall correctly. Eventually, we all found our way onto the arena floor and began fighting people, despite nearly everyone being bloodied and Baern being out of healing.

Ekemon died fairly early on as I believe, but the mop-up of remaining stragglers took a while. We had no crowd-control in the party at this point and everyone was down to dailies. Baern actually was dropped to zero HP, falling unconscious. By Moradin’s power (with some possible assistance from a healing potion from Tempest) Baern was revived, but proceeded to lay on his back in the rubble for the next five turns, using potions on people and ineffectually casting Lance of Faith at whoever he could see.

After the combat, we all felt a bit stronger, as though passing an arbitrary milestone in our lifetime of experience.

The session ended there, for once not on a cliffhanger.

Tune in next time for “A Tempestuous Family Reunion” or “The Tieflings are Revolting!”

I Fought The Law; The Law Won
or "I raided the King's secret stash, and all I got was this lousy residium"

About time I got around to dropping another Adventure Log. This one isn’t really in the same style as the previous, and may not be funny per se, which is fine, I suppose. It is, however, a log of the adventure.

Session started where the last one left off. Your typical screwed diplomat diplomatic endeavour, with an elven woman getting out of a minotaur’s bed and running off, and a castle steward running off as well, with the intent of rousing the castle guard.

Kemil got dressed, ran down the hall, and awakened Ovias. Ovias, plainly no alcoholic, downed a container of booze before even bothering to open the door. At this point, the half-vampire dwarf’s suspiciously good sensory perception detected guards arming themselves in the lower levels.

A few moments later, the party was back on their feet and ready to face the music by running the heck away. We burn rubber, as it were, booking it through the castle. Despite a spirited attempt and bowling over a number of guards, we took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up exiting the castle proper by walking into an open training ground full of guards.

Amusingly, this little incident actually elicited an actual hint of emotion from the extremely disinterested jerk of a ruler. Despite the protests from our horny friend (pun of course intended), the king took our residium back, possibly without refunding us our purchase price, and then banished us from Elfland, giving us two hours to get out.

Standing around in front of the palace, the party discussed breaking into the palace for a while, as well as just cutting losses and leaving. After noticing where we were standing, we decided to move to a nearby alleyway and discuss treason. At some point, heading back to Arrannis’ friend Mai Tai, or whoever, was suggested, but instead we stood around talking until the woman who had caused all this crap showed up.

Interrupting our seditious talk to try and hire us for a dungeon raid is nearly suicidal in most cases, but since she was pretty plainly a dancing plot hook, we all shut up and agreed after a token defense. She explained that she was in a politically arranged marriage or something with the king, which I suppose was intended to put us at a moral advantage for stealing the guy’s stuff. Of course, political marriages were extremely common at the time, and in fact would have helped to solidify the rapidly splitting Elven and Eladrin races, but meh.

Ok, so next, we went and sat around in the woods all day like a bunch of arborphiliac elves. Disguised as elves by the foul magics of that race, we then headed into the ‘estate’ that was guarding the treasure. Passing the guards fairly easily, the woman led us to a door, which she opened via combination or somesuch. At this point, she revealed that she needed our help to get past the myriad traps ahead.

The first trap was a huge statue of a dragon, made of apparently no valuable material whatsoever, that magically bent down to ask us to speak the “Words of Power”. Apparently “By the Forge of Moradin” was a bad idea, so Baern kept his fool mouth shut for a bit. We discussed the matter for a moment or two, until a rather pointed hint about the egocentrism of the ruler was made. Baern took a shot and said the King’s name, which satisfied the Huge Worthless Dragon Golem and it allowed us to pass. At this point, the woman came in and said we’d done the hard part, and went off to get her suit of armor.

A few jumps over spike traps, Baern bear traps, and other assorted trivialities later, we were overladen with level-appropriate loot that was for some reason apparently ‘precious’ to this king, and we opened what amounted to the last door.

Inside this small library were a couple of constructs to combat! Baern took the cleric’s way out, hiding behind a wall until the combat was mostly resolved. A fairly easy fight against these three monsters.

The books in the room were basically worthless, if we even checked, and the dragon head on the wall was of much more interest. We answered its blatantly plagiarized riddle and thus disabled the trap, but the party was either too dumb or too impatient to try to figure out the correct way to open it. Theris managed to pull it open, but then Ovias stepped in and tore off the jaw of the skull completely, in a fit of high rolling.

Impatience abounds, and Baern went to open the door that had been concealed behind the dragon head. Inside were more constructs. Despite the spirited defense of a Bronze Warden that seemed intent on running over the kindhearted thieves of our party, all metal eventually succumbs to Moradin’s hammer. Speaking of hammers, this was Baern’s first successful melee strike this campaign.

Winning the combat meant we could now loot the innermost room of this secret treasury, finding our residium as well as some other random bits.

Outside we found our Elven allies, and they escorted us to and through the gate, dropping us presumably back in The Hub. A young man met us there, calling Tempest by some other name that I didn’t catch, and drawing comment from the stoic fellow.

Session Over.

Join us next time for “I have no idea what next session is about”, or possibly “The One in Which We All Kill Tempest”.


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